Every 1-2 days during the fertile window is optimal. Daily sex is perfectly fine and may even be slightly better. "Saving up" sperm by abstaining actually makes them worse. More frequent ejaculation = healthier, fresher sperm.
This is probably the most practical question couples have when trying to conceive. You've got a limited fertile window each month—about 6 days—and you want to maximize your chances. So what's the magic number?
The good news: the research is pretty clear on this one.
The Research-Backed Recommendation
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommends sex every 1-2 days during the fertile window. Both approaches—daily and every-other-day—result in similar pregnancy rates.
Slightly higher pregnancy rates in studies. Fresh sperm constantly available.
Nearly identical results to daily. Less pressure on couples.
Too easy to miss the fertile window entirely.
One important finding: in couples with normal fertility, daily sex actually resulted in slightly higher pregnancy rates than every-other-day sex. The difference was small, but it debunks the common belief that you need to "rest" between sessions.
Why "Saving Up" Sperm Is a Mistake
Here's where a lot of couples go wrong. The logic seems sound: if you abstain for several days before the fertile window, you'll have more sperm ready to go, right?
Wrong. This is one of the most persistent myths in conception—and it's backwards.
Prolonged abstinence (more than 5-7 days) actually decreases sperm quality. Older sperm accumulate DNA damage. Fresh sperm have better motility and healthier DNA. The "save it up" strategy hurts your chances.
A study of 20 men who ejaculated daily for 14 days showed that while total sperm count dropped initially, it then plateaued at about 40% of baseline—and DNA integrity remained unaffected. The sperm that were there were healthier.
Meanwhile, abstinence periods of 7+ days lead to:
- Increased DNA fragmentation in sperm
- More oxidative stress damage
- Reduced sperm motility
- Higher percentage of abnormal sperm
A Sample Schedule That Works
Let's say your fertile window runs from Day 10 to Day 15 of your cycle, with ovulation expected around Day 14. Here's what optimal frequency looks like:
| Day | What's Happening | Sex? |
|---|---|---|
| Day 8-9 | Before fertile window | Yes, if you want—keeps sperm fresh |
| Day 10 | Fertile window begins | âś… Yes |
| Day 11 | Approaching ovulation | âś… Yes |
| Day 12 | High fertility | ✅ Yes—key day |
| Day 13 | Peak fertility (day before O) | ✅ Yes—key day |
| Day 14 | Ovulation day | ✅ Yes—key day |
| Day 15 | Possibly still fertile | âś… Yes, for good measure |
If daily feels like too much pressure, every other day (Days 10, 12, 14) still gives you excellent odds. The key is to have sperm present before and during ovulation.
What If Daily Sex Isn't Realistic?
Let's be honest: for many couples, sex every day for a week isn't happening. Work schedules, stress, kids, exhaustion—life gets in the way.
That's completely fine. Here's the minimum effective approach:
- Identify your likely ovulation day (OPKs, apps, cervical mucus tracking)
- Have sex at least 2-3 times during the fertile window
- Prioritize the 2 days before expected ovulation—these have the highest success rates
- Don't stress if you miss a day—sperm live 3-5 days inside the reproductive tract
If you can only manage 3 sessions during the fertile window, aim for: 3 days before ovulation, 1 day before ovulation, and ovulation day. This covers the highest-probability days with sperm already waiting for the egg.
What About Sex Outside the Fertile Window?
Some couples go into "conservation mode" outside the fertile window—avoiding sex to "save" for when it matters. As we covered, this backfires.
A better approach: have sex 2-3 times per week throughout your cycle. This:
- Keeps sperm fresh and healthy
- Maintains intimacy and reduces the "baby-making duty" feeling
- Means you don't have to track perfectly—you're probably hitting fertile days anyway
- Reduces stress around timing
"Couples who have sex 2-3 times weekly without specific timing have pregnancy rates nearly as high as those who time intercourse precisely to ovulation."
— Fertility research finding
When Tracking Becomes Counterproductive
There's an important psychological consideration here. For some couples, obsessive tracking, timing, and scheduled sex makes things worse:
- Sex becomes a chore instead of a connection
- Performance pressure can cause erectile difficulties
- Stress increases (and stress hurts fertility)
- The relationship suffers
A study found that 12 months of using fertility monitoring versus just having regular sex resulted in identical pregnancy rates. For couples who find tracking stressful, simply having sex 2-3 times per week throughout the cycle is a legitimate alternative.
Special Situations
Male Factor Issues
If there's a known sperm count or motility issue, your doctor may recommend every-other-day sex rather than daily, to allow sperm to rebuild. Follow your doctor's specific guidance.
Irregular Cycles
If you don't know when you ovulate, having sex every 2-3 days throughout the month ensures you're likely hitting the fertile window whenever it occurs.
Long-Distance Relationships
Time visits around expected ovulation. Use OPKs to predict the window, and maximize frequency during the time you're together.
Know Your Fertile Window
Frequency matters most during the right days. Use our free calculator to find when you're most fertile.
Calculate Ovulation →The Bottom Line
Making a baby doesn't require military precision. Here's what works:
- During the fertile window: Every day or every other day
- Outside the fertile window: 2-3 times per week keeps sperm fresh
- Don't save up: More frequent ejaculation = better sperm quality
- Don't stress: If tracking creates pressure, just have regular sex and trust the process
The goal is to have healthy sperm present when the egg arrives. Fresh sperm, deposited frequently during the fertile window, gives you the best shot. Everything else is noise.